Strong emotions for my same-sex friend that is best.
Hi every person, i really hope it is possible to offer some advice, it could be very helpful, about me: I am male, 20 years old, straight, introvert before I start I would like to tell some basic information. We’ll you will need to make it not very very long.
Okay, and so I know this friend since I have had been 14 in school, he could be a few months older since then, we spend many time together and I consider him my best friend ever, the only one I can really trust important things about me or things I never tell anyone, not even to my parents, we even trust enough to share online services/accounts passwords when we need it, and if one of us ask for a homework we didn’t do, we share it, all those things, you know than me, and he is male too, he has been with me. I became very happy to fulfill such a fantastic individual, buddy, I would personally state cousin, i truly liked being his friend and spend some time with him sharing our hobbies and attempting brand new material.
But, a bit I started to notice https://redtube.zone/pl something weird after I turned 18
We began to miss him whenever I had not been with him, and I also simply attempted to ignore it, thinking it absolutely was because we always head out togheter, play videogames, view movies, etc. But, this is not every thing, months passed and I also had this feeling within my mind, and personally i think lonely with him all the time, everyday, all day, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, the more time passed, those feelings became stronger and stronger, to this day, to this very moment I’m writing this without him, I wanted to be closer to him, I wanted to be.
Pay attention, i am perhaps perhaps maybe not homosexual, we’m interested in girls, we have experienced crushes on girls, and dated girls just, but i do believe that i am in love with him i cannot actually explain this, my feelings for him at this time have become strong and deep, it really is one thing i can not place in terms, i’ve never believed this emotions towards another person prior to, not having the ability to simply tell him the way I feel, is stressing me personally and making me personally unfortunate, why i can not you may possibly ask? Because I’m not certain that he seems exactly the same, and then he is right too, and then he might genuinely believe that im gay, weird or that I would like to bang him (that is not the case, we have actually zero curiosity about making love with him). Nevertheless, i wish to get nearer to him actually, often we fantasy about cuddling, holding fingers, and kissing him on their cheek, but nothing sexual, I wish to look after him, head out like we always do, instead, i wish it could be more like a date, a romantic date, because i think my feelings for him are romantic with him to a dinner, or to watch a movie, or anyting he wants, but not.
We have tried providing him some clues, like making some jokes about us
Toucing his hands, or providing him a random straight back massage lol, btw, he loves to offer me personally back massage treatments, really he began that, arbitrarily massaging my straight straight back, mostly my throat, and arms where all of the anxiety is, and I really like whenever he does that, it seems so excellent and relaxes me personally, and I also love the feel of their fingers back at my straight back, now, referring to my emotions. You understand how many dudes are somehow bashful around pretty girls? Once they desire to carry on a romantic date, i am confident everybody knows the things I’m speaing frankly about, well, recently he could be making me feel a bit nervous/shy once I’m around him, just like us dudes are shy to share with a woman on a night out together, he’s noticed it and possess asked me several times if I feel fine, or if perhaps there will be something incorrect with him, i usually respond that i am fine, but you i am maybe not, i would like him therefore poorly, become beside me.
When it comes to final component, often he appears to just like me too, often do not, often he makes reviews as to how we dress, like “Hey good T-shirt/shoes/etc, it fits you very well! ” Or once I changed my haircut he stated “Wow, you appear awesome, cool” and that makes me feel dozens of strange feelings mixed at that extremely precise minute, often i believe he does it to be able to see my effect, as he when said that my face turned red (we blushed) after his remark, (and I also do responses to him too), i prefer the way in which he dress, and their body gestures, just how he functions, i prefer everything about him, especially his character, he could be the sole man ever personally i think in this way, no body else, I would personallyn’t be pleased if he suffers, i’d like only nutrients to take place to him.
I want avice because of this, any allow you to can offer please, should We make sure he understands the way I feel? If yes, just how so when? Am i wrong? Have always been We being selfish? Sorry for that lots of text and concerns, please, it, I will really appreciate it, thanks, and sorry for the bad English if you can provide your opinion, suggestions and any advice, do. (: